Episode Stories


The following conversation ensued between Hook up Auntie and I...
Me: Good afternoon ma, how may I help you?
Hook up Auntie: I am looking for my phone.
Me: Looking lost... Your phone? I have no idea Ma. I haven't stepped out of our room today, I've not even had my bath, When was the last time you saw it?
Hook up Auntie: (Now pointing towards the waste bin)... I remember keeping the phone on that waste bin in the passageway when I swept in the morning but I forgot to take it inside when I was done sweeping. Now, it's no longer there.
Me: Haa, ma, seriously? you mean you left your phone on a general passageway that everyone walks through before entering into their rooms? Anyway, have you tried calling the number?

Hook up Auntie: Yes, it is switched off already.

Me: Now short of words, all I could say was "Oh wow". Hook up Auntie: Have you seen anyone around here since morning?
Me: Took a moment to think before responding... uuuhm, yes, a guy (named Tunde) from the next house came here earlier to borrow matches. But I couldn't find matches. So, I just opened the door half way and told him I could not find the matches. He didn't even enter, he left immediately. I didn't step out of the room either.
Make e no be like say I be bad person wey no care, I said "Well, Maybe your phone had fallen off the top of the waste bin and the battery pulled out, let's still search around for it. Hopefully, we'll find it"
She also informed one other guy whose name is Simo (A Ghanian), one of the occupants of the rooms, who happened to be inside his room on that day that the phone was missing. Simo and I joined Hook up Auntie to search around the passageway where she claimed to have left the phone but it was nowhere to be found.

While we were still looking for the phone, her man friend that was inside the room with her came out and started threatening to take drastic measures if the person that took the phone refused to turn it in.

He was an Alhaji, I was thinking the man would go diabolical, something like making the person that stole the phone run mad, I didn't even bother, I was careless about his threats since my hands were clean. I felt a thief deserves whatever consequence that he gets from stealing.

After we had searched everywhere but couldn't find the phone, I was already bored, so I went straight to the bathroom, had my bath and took a walk of about 20 minutes.

I got the shock of my life when I got back home. I saw a police Hilux parked right at the front of our house, with over 30 people around our neighbourhood gathered in our house. Immediately they sighted me, some of them pointed at me while they repeatedly echoed "This is the boy"

I was totally lost, I was trying to process what could have happened within the few minutes I left the house. I was trying to understand what "This is the boy" really meant. I was still trying to read the environment when a giant police officer started walking towards me, once he got close enough, he landed me a very hot slap. The next question that followed was "Where is the phone?"
Amidst tears and confusion, I muttered "Which phone Sir?"........My brain still never boot finish
Police man: The phone you stole before leaving the house.
Me: Sir, I honestly don't know anything about the phone, I already told her, I was in my room when she came to knock and told me about the missing phone.

Police man: You lying small boy! You think I don't know that you went to hide the phone as you stepped out? Take me and my men back to the place you're coming from, bring out the phone from where you hid it, hand it over and we'll let you go.

Me: I brought out my own phone and pointed it to the police man and said "Sir, take a look at the phone that I'm using, It's more expensive than the missing phone (My elder brother bought it for me, a Sony J70 phone, a very good phone at that time).. I prefer my own phone a million times to the missing phone Sir. I have no reason to steal another phone. I already have one"

And another hot slap landed on my face...taaash!, and he used a round kick to pack me from the floor. Na so I land whaam for ground. The way the police men treated me was nothing different from jungle justice. Only God knew how much that Alhaji paid them, they were so brutal and unreasonable. Those memories contribute to why I do not like the police till today. I kind of believe that the bad ones are more than the good ones.

And you know the Nigerian factor, your money is your right, person wey no get money no get any right plus I was a minor and I had no one to stand for me, Auntie Seun was at work when all these things were happening. All odds were completely against me. Continue reading through the thread..
4 months ago (E)
Episode Stories
4 months ago
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Police man: You must think I'm here to joke. Sergeant, handcuff him and put him inside the truck. I can see he is a hardened criminal. By the time I'm done with him in our station, he would have forgotten his surname. I will design this his fine face for him.

Alhaji speaking to the Police men: I want you to teach this stubborn thief a lesson he will never forget, deal with him mercilessly till he confesses. Even if he refuses to confess, I don't care, I just want him to be thoroughly dealt with.

Tor, Na so dem seize my phone come put handcuff for my hand like a common criminal oo, and they bundled me inside their Hilux and drove me to their station.

The people gathered around were looking at me like "God forbid, which kind bad pikin be this one?"

I can't blame them, the story completely connected; I

stole the phone and quickly ran out to hide it. May we

not see implication in Jesus name. May we not be

available on the day that yawa will gas.

The Hilux drove off and the Alhaji followed in his own car. I knew being inside the same truck with those fierce-looking policemen was real trouble for me. But I was just a helpless young boy, what could I have done?

I can't count the number of slaps I received while we were on the way to the police station. They kept me in the middle. If the police man at the right land me hot slap, before I say peem, the one at the left would dial me another hot one. I had stopped crying already. E get some kind beating wey person go chop, strength no go dey to cry again.

When we got to the police station, they removed my shirt and trouser and took me to one session of the station where they normally torture criminals. There were vertical poles in that room and different types of whips and other equipment for torturing. They handcuffed me to one of the poles, brought out long whips and pressing iron, and then connected the iron to an electric source.

John Adesogan